March 17, 2013
Here I sit on this luvely Saint Patrick's Day having me own breakfast and made by me own hand or bought with me own luvely green money.
I'll be having the green egg, Irish soda brad, sum luvely corned beef on a bed of spinach, and washing e down with a wee bit o' green tea. All this awhile me luv herself is dancing the jig in in the very pubs of Ireland. It'll be the cane for her for sartain when her feet are back upon the soil o' Williamsville.What with me eating like no tomarra, I took it upon meself to do a bit of a walk. It being a fine day with sunshine and the like, I tought it only fitting to attach a picnic to that fine walk ... it being nigh on springtime. I was choosing Kilburn Pond on which to set me feet wit it having a fine boulder by the pond most appealing for laying about in the sun and reading and such.
I got meself prepared most handsomely. A green tablecloth was soon in me hands and green candles for the candelabra what with it being a special day. Boiled egg and fruit alongside a corn beef sandwich would be more than filling on this day. Although I'll not be tasting a pint, I decided I would be having an O'Doul' what with the spirit of the day and all.
Being alone what with me luv herself galavanting, I fell to worrying on what I would do sitting upon the boulder with meself and none other. A sight it would be what with me conversing and only me to do the listening. Reading I thought to be the better, especially should strangers be happening upon me. Nuthing less than Irish poetry would be doing for this occasion. In a moment, I had a book of verse loaded onto my Kindle by nunother than Oscar Wilde hisself. Ready I was. Placing my green shirt, green pants, green coat and green scarf upon me body, I headed to Kilburn Pond.
I look back now ... what with the future behind me and the past in easy sight. Thar were mistakes made. The green shirt was short sleeve and not wishing to overheat what with all the walking and such, I did not add the extra long-sleeve green shirt over it. The green coat was thin, but the other coat being blue, it would not do. Me hands always get hot when I hike and at the last moment I put away me mittens and wore the fingerless gloves instead. I walked to the opposite side of the pond for that indeed was where the boulder lay. The past being what it was I know now the driving wind to be blowing across the icy pond only to arrive at the bolder full of vigor and well-chilled.
When I strode out upon the pond trail, I was a sight for Irish eyes. A vartual portrait in green topped with a bonny hat, backpack and poles peacocking me way down upon the snowy trail. That snowy trail quickly revealed itself to be well-trod and soundedly packed so to make a luge run proud. I soon revised my peacock strut to a more cautious gate better suited to my general health.I had not walked far before I happened upon other travelers, or they upon me. I took little notice of them for blocking me path was an untethered hound of great dimension, white as the snow itself and eyes as green as Boston Harbor. I knew the breed to be a pit bull and true to its reputation it did take it upon itself to advance upon me in stop and start bursts while filling the air with growls and barking. All the while, I prepared meself to make him welcome.
Over the years, I have met many a fierce dog upon the trails and have make a study of this in me mind. Discovered I have that owners of large fierce dogs never have them on a leash on a pubic trail. These same owners, have no control over their dogs for I have yet to see one of them return to its master when called. This incident was no exception. The lady finally caught up to the dog and held it. I overheard her husband whispering to her excitedly "not to let it go" while he was trying to get the leash attached. Another sure thing is what the owners say. Be sartain I was not in a talking mood. But, they always say, "Don't worry, it won't bite" while they strain to hold the beast and the slobber drips from its snarling yap.
I am telling ya that a man don't have to have the P or the H or the D afollowing his name to get the picture. That feller knows that dog will bite. That is why he got it. I'll be thinking that feller feels a bit more powerful ever time that dog growls at me. Yep. Nobody loves your pet like you do and your pet don't love other people like he does you. All the midgets with big cigars and tattooed parolees rescuing them on TV don't change a thing. And sure enough, one o these days, one o them four-legged sarpents will be putting the fang to my leg and I'll be Moby Dicking him with my hiking stick and dusting my boots on him. I'll be saving that other pole for his irate owner. I'll be in jail and that sarpent will be feeding daisies and the jury will be saying "poor puppy".
I stood real still while they dragged the beast by me. I said, "Have a nice day" but I didn't put any effort in it so they'd realize that I was really saying I thought they was shat. It was five minutes later that I was walking along and sneezed and me nose let go with a torrent of red. I attribute it to me flairing me nostrils vigorously awhile facing that four-legged devil and me caps being exposed to the bitter cold.
I soon reached the pond and worked me way to the far side. The boulder I sought was about half way down and I soon found meself standing on that same boulder. It were the perfect spot for a picnic and you could sit down for the meal and lean back on the boulder just like sitting in a big old comfy chair. I unpacked the tablecloth and got me started. Remember that mistake I mentioned earlier bout the wind?
Well, about now I started to figure it out. Not a loose rock in sight, but I did find a few logs to hold it down. Soon enough it were a regular table with a view like in one of them fancy cafes right here on the boulder.
The menu for the day were a corned beef sandwich, a boiled egg and some fruit. Even though the spirits and meself have parted ways years past now, I meself got an O'Doul's for the occasion.
I stretched meself out to enjoy lunch, but got no further than me sandwich and half a banana afore the cold wind offen the pond commensed to cutting through me coat like a knife. I tried to read. I were reading an Oscar Wilde poem about a criminal going to the gallows and thought to meself, "at least hisself is not freezing to death in winter hurricane". Me hat blew off and rolled into the wood and that itself were too much for me to be taking. I'd all the fun I could stand and a bit more.
One last look at the pond and I headed back to the car and home. A hot shower did wonders to restore me and human again I was. I joined nearby friends for dinner ... more soda brad and an excellent beef stew. It were a fitting end to an excellent Saint Patrick's Day. It couldn't have been better ...
unless of course
you,
like me luv herself
happened to be celebrating Saint Patrick's
in nunother but
Ireland itself.
HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!
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